I wonder what they are thinking.
Do they want to sniff each other's butt?


Let's take a bite out of the cost
of homeowner's insurance policies instead

These basic rules will save the insurance companies millions of dollars and I hope the people who pay for homeowner's insurance will benefit from the saving as well.

The reason I'm posting this Helpful Hint is that there are serious injuries as well as deaths saved by these rule so it's only right to hand it over now for free. 

Your pet naturally wants you to do its thinking for them and the last thing you want to do is confuse them.

A hint for those who try to train their pups is to get rid of the word "get" from the vocabulary you with your pet.

Never use the phrase, "Get over here". Use the phrase, "Come here."

Too many of us use the wrong word, "Get the ball," when we should be using, "Fetch the ball".

See the problem is when your dog is chasing someone down; you may be encouraging an attack without knowing it by saying, "Get over here."

If you say "Come here," has its own meaning and the pet won't get confused by what you want it to do.

Another mistake: "Get off" or "Get down,"should be replaced with, "Down."

I hope this saves a lot of problems for the people that have to be responsible for their pets.  If this simple rule becomes the standard, we should discover a saving on the amount of homeowners insurance because most of the insurance settlements that get paid out are covering dog bites.

    Come here, and Fetch, got it?   Amen?

Also since most people are right handed, it’s a good habit to feed your pet with your left hand only. Your pet won't consider it as food as much when it’s from a right hand. A person trying to poison your pet might confuse you pet with food for something else. Believe me something in a person’s right hand won't look so appetizing and your pet will be more likely to mistake it for something else and back away. Get my drift? Good luck, I hope I helped you raise a well mannered pet.

      I wish you luck.

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It sure would be nice if the insurance companies would give me a kick back for posting this advice. And if there is more profits in treating dog bites, then maybe the insurance companies will pay me a little something to pull this posting from the web-site, or even keep it out of my book.
         Stupid Rule No. 7.

       I can always use more of it.




And if you come to the beach:
PLEASE do not feed the seagulls,
they ended up shitting all over the rocks I'd like to sit on.

And seagulls are dirty creatures;
feeding them will only cause them to fly around dropping lice on people below.

And if you are coming to the beach:
Please leave you dog at home.
For one thing,
dogs are not allowed on the Pier,
and we have enough e-collie to swim through as it is,
and we don't need any more.



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the actual book excerpt
Burning Down the House
@ BooksbySunnyside.com

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